My writing group kept saying "show don't tell" so I overcorrected and confused everyone

A guy named Tom in my critique circle told me my first draft was too much telling. So I went back and rewrote the whole thing so every single emotion was described through actions or setting. Like instead of "she was sad" I wrote "she stared at the crack in the ceiling for 20 minutes without blinking." Got three pages of that. Next meeting, everyone said they had no idea what the character was feeling. Too vague. I need a middle ground. How do you guys know when showing is enough without losing the reader?

3 comments

3 Comments

karen_shah561d ago

I read this really good blog post from a published author who said "show the feeling, tell the context." That stuck with me. Like when your character is sad, yeah, you can show them staring at the ceiling, but you might also need a line like "she had that heavy feeling that comes after a loved one leaves" to anchor the reader. You gave them all the puzzle pieces with no picture on the box. I've been trying to use simple telling verbs like "he felt scared" right next to a showing detail, and that's helped me not confuse people. Does your group ever want you to read scenes out loud? That's how I found my own balance problems.

alicem291d ago

Oh man, @matthew_dixon nailed it with that one sentence. Honestly, the whole showing vs telling thing is way overcomplicated by writing gurus. I think the trick is to treat showing like salt in a recipe. You need just enough to bring out the flavor but not so much that everything tastes like salt. That idea from karen_shah56 about showing the feeling and telling the context is actually genius. Tbh, most readers need a little handholding. They're not mind readers. They might get bored if every single emotion is a mystery to solve. So like, if your character is angry, maybe show them punching a wall but also just tell us they were furious. That way nobody sits there going "wait is he sad or just tired?

matthew_dixon2d ago

Think you've got the balance wrong, showing can still sparkle with a hint of telling.