Reading the fine print saved me too, asked if they had a carrier before paying.

Man that hits close to home. I sent the same bloated two pager around for months and got nothing but silence, so hearing your story makes me feel less crazy about the whole thing. The part about the certs getting buried under old job duties really sticks with me because that's probably what happened to me too. Cutting to one page and keeping only the last 6 years sounds like the move, and honestly 3 interviews in 9 days says it all. Wondering if going even tighter is smart though, a one pager with a little white space probably reads a lot easier than a crammed one.

Wait, he redrew your whole logo in 10 minutes with a 2 dollar pen? That napkin is worth more than the software you were using.